Tech Tips: 3rd Eyes, Bats, and much more!

You never stood a chance against this. Sure, you've purchased mass quantities of eBay quality aero frames, fancy wheels that even lawyers can't afford, and you've consulted with Dr. Lim from Garmin Slipstream. However, my bike make yours look like it's going backwards. My bike makes yours tremble with fear. Why? Because MY BIKE SPAWNED A BAT. I don't know how it happened, but who am I to ask questions of this sort? I refuse to elaborate. Deal with it.

I don't suppose that I can dissuade any of you from disassembling your drive train a week before the season, can I? When I was first starting to race, I remember one of the senior riders telling us not to pull a "Joe Kopena" and take our brakes apart the day before the race. Ask him how that worked out. If it works now it will work in a week. Lube and clean until you get dizzy from the fumes, but please try not to play mechanic the day before the race. It keeps us all safe.

Something I would recommend would be to make use of a "chain keeper." It involves an uninvasive procedure whereby you slip a plastic ring with a knob underneath your front derailluer which prevents your chain from "dropping" off of the little ring onto your bottom bracket. You're not Christian Vande Velde, and you likely can't catch the peloton after a dropped chain. So if you've got $10, get yourself a "Third Eye" or "Dog Fang" or whichever brand you like and save your race. In case you think it's not pro to rock one of these, look closely at some of the pro bikes featured on cyclingnews.com.

Also, I have to mention how excited I am to start the season. Thanks in advance to Joe and Caitlin, the race directors, John Frey and Velocity Results, the USAC officials, the riders, and everyone else who makes the ECCC possible. Special thanks to Rutgers and Princeton for being awesome and keeping this thing real (and no aero!). Remember, it's a long season so BE SAFE. Be smart, keep your head up, ride predictably, don't be unnecessarily agressive, hold your line (BU!), and don't forget to get the hell out of your team van, put the Calculus book down, and watch the other races! See you there.